There is time

I have been feeling the push lately.  To get going on the things that I said  I want to do.  To put in work to get to the next level.  To keep striving and reaching.  This push for this change... it is all self inflicted (I don't have anyone but me who has decided these are the things that need to happen now).  

And so, I've been pushing...  and I feel like nothing is changing.  That I'm in the same spot, that I have nothing more to show for all the effort I've put in.  That's not really true, but you know what is true?  

I'm tired.  I'm more than tired, I'm exhausted.  I'm pushing against a brick wall.  What I keep forgetting is that I am supposed to be cocooning right now.  I'm to be tucked in, to be gazing inward, to let the darkness be comforting.  To settle in for a long winter's rest.  I know it isn't winter yet, and the hibernation isn't here yet.  It came early for me this year, it came at the end of August.  I'm resisting it with this striving.  Regardless, it is here for me.

Although my goals are set by me and me alone, there is a societal pull, that says, now, bigger, better, now!  The time is now!  You have to get going NOW!  There is not time to wait, to get clear, to pause.  And I continue to get caught up in that momentum, and then find myself ineffective.

So, in case you need to hear it - there is time.  Whatever the thing is that you are intending to create, it might not have to be NOW!  If you feel like you are completely out of time, tap in to your chest, feel your breath.  There IS time, in each breath.  And in each breath, you will have more clarity about what part of the creation cycle you are in.  Maybe you are full steam into creation.  Maybe you are full steam into the death of what you were before.  There is time for every part of the cycle.  They are not always the same or for the same length of time.  If you are in the death part of the cycle, be there.  It's ok - there is time.  This part is temporary.  The more you lean in to exactly where you are, the more you will recognize the stage you are in.  And knowing where you are is a beautiful place to be.  

Lean in to knowing where you are.  Feel the relaxation that comes with letting yourself be in the space you are in.  There isn't a pull or a push or a forced anything.  There is acceptance.  There is grace.  There is passion.  And for me in the death stage, there will be rebirth.  

That idea pulls me forward, but with a gentleness that brings all of me along.  Instead of a striving that feels like part of me is being dragged to a new spot.