Occasionally in a reading with a client, I say something that makes me sit up and take notice. It's as if someone is screaming at me - Ali! This is for YOU (too)! LISTEN!
This happened the other day when I said something like 'your emotions don't make you good or bad.' I can logically know this to be true, but in that instant I knew that I was suppressing certain emotions because they are not what 'good girls' feel. On some level I believe that certain emotions made me a bad person. What kinds of emotions? Hatred, anger, shame, doubt, confusion just to name a few. And on the other side of the spectrum, it held true that some emotions make you a good person - compassion, generosity, love.
For years I have been telling myself that emotions are not good or bad. In my truth, emotions exist, and adding a judgment (good or bad) to them does not make the experience of feeling them better. Often I think it can pile on and make whatever emotion you are feeling - feel worse. So I really tried to become conscious of that little voice that told me anger was a bad emotion to feel. I tried to parent and help my kids with their emotions with acceptance and humility. I made myself create a new language around emotions. I talked about how emotions can be uncomfortable (grief, fear, judgment, doubt, shame), but they aren't in an of themselves 'bad' (or good). Eventually I came to believe that for emotions to heal, it is really about feeling them. All emotions are valid, simply because we are feeling them, whether we label them as 'good' or 'bad'.
So with that backdrop, when I said 'your emotions don't make you good or bad' - I was shocked that I had missed this nuance. What I discovered in the reading was that emotions don't make you good or bad. It wasn't that the emotion was uncomfortable and I was judging it as bad, but rather I was limiting my emotional experience to emotions that 'should' be felt (by 'good' people). The little voice in my head was not only labeling the emotion as something bad to feel, it took it a step further and said I shouldn't feel it, because I won't get to heaven or I won't be a spiritual person, etc.
I know I'm not the only one who had it ingrained in them what good girls/boys should feel. We have entire generations of men who were simply not supposed to feel anything at all. And generations of women who were taught to be afraid of or limit 'big' emotions. We are here to feel. All of it.
I'm sitting with the uncomfortable emotions, and letting them be with me even if they aren't the 'good' ones. I am the compassionate witness. I get it, I understand why I would feel hatred. I understand why I feel doubt. And I trust that if I feel into whatever the emotion is, that it will heal. I am not a victim to any emotion. As a result, I feel more free and safe to experience the full spectrum of emotions and to a much deeper level.
I have been musing on the idea of strength. My mother was strong! She was physically strong, mentally strong, she persevered, she held her ground, she healed and moved on. I come from a long line of strong women. We all do. I like to think of Mother Earth as the mother of us all, and wow she is a strong one.
I've read that the energies of 2024 will include strength. "This [year] asks you to stop turning away from that which you desire. This is the year to do things that will develop your strength and stretch outside your comfort zone" (Many Moons, Lunar Planner). I'm going to call this now strength.
As I have spent the first couple of days in 2024 touching into the now strength, it feels different to me than the strength of before. The before strength is a response - it feels like a defense, like a stance we have to hold so we don't lose (even more) ground. The strength that comes from saying: I will not be defeated. The before strength comes when someone or something else is trying to take your power. The before strength is the strength of our ancestors, and we needed it to stand with our ancestors now to claim this new now strength power.
This now strength and power knows that my power is not diminished by your power. Rather than a response, it is a creation. The now strength is a strength within. It is a strength that comes from claiming who we are, instead of losing power by denying aspects of ourselves. The now strength is not the strength that gets you through, it is the strength that lifts us up. In this power, it is time to take a step with our lives. It is the strength of YES, that creates the courage to make the step. The strength that is within each of us, if only we are brave enough to create our lives to the fullest.
I am only just beginning in the now strength. If you are exhausted from the before strength, let that be real. At the moment, it is part of who you are. The before strength is exhausting. And it is temporary. When you are ready for the now strength, invite it in. It sounds like YES! It feels like inspiration and hope. It tastes like freedom. It looks like beauty. It is led from the heart.
The now strength can not be taken from you. Consider letting the fight pass right on by because this is the kind of strength that can not be taken from us, only shared. Without the threat of someone or something else taking your power or your strength - what would you use all of that extra energy for? Create to your fullest, and feel your power there.
This is a strength and power that can be passed, knowing that your strength does not diminish mine. The end of 'power over' is near, and feminine energies will lead the transformation. Feminine energies ask us to receive as much as we give, to enjoy grace, compassion, and love. Let's go!
Professional Clairvoyant Energy Healer