Feel the Fear, Know the Trust

Sometimes fear gets a hold of me.  If I'm honest, it isn't just sometimes, it is more than that.  And it is more often than it used to be.  

There is a lot of fear in our world right now.  Understandably so.  There is plenty to fear in our world today.  There are wars.  There are mass murders, cancer, and pandemics.  There are guns.  There are huge weather events. There is a lot of pain in the world right now.  We are feeling fear.

When I feel fear, I don't often just simply state it as such.  I don't like feeling fear, so I kind of pretend that I am not. Denial is a powerful tool.  I also grew up in the era where to show your fear was wrong.  Show no fear, and as such feel no fear.

My cue is my belly and my chest.  If my belly is tight and I can't get a breath into my diaphragm, I am afraid.  I can be feeling this fear just from the world around us.  It doesn't even have to be an alarm that is sounding from something specific in my life.  In the moments when I choose to acknowledge the fear, I can soothe it and let go of it from my body, by reminding myself that I am safe.

When I'm not conscious of the fear - when I don't simply acknowledge the fear - I worry instead.  I worry about all kinds of things.  Did I sign my daughter up for the right school?  Am I taking care of my body the way I need to?  My brain takes over and creates disaster scenarios for all kinds of different aspects of my life.  Made up car accidents, people I love dying, I can imagine all kinds of scary things.

Now I know that if I don't act on my worry - if I don't actually do anything about it - then I can let go of that worry.  So, if I'm concerned about my health, I could change my diet, make a doctor appointment, exercise, seek advice.  But if fear of death is just creating worry, I won't actually do any of those things.  That is a worry I don't need to continue to carry, think about, and hold.  Fear of death is real for many of us.  Yet, worry alone does not guarantee a longer life.

The other thing I do when I'm feeling fear and pretending I'm not is get really controlling.  If you could see the way I act, you would think I can control everything in my life.  I can't.  And this just ends up in aggravation when I don't succeed at every single thing going according to MY plan.  That is a lot of wasted energy, all because fear is driving my system and control is masquerading as safety.  As if everything being perfect will keep me from whatever danger exists. 

All of what I have written above is true for me.  And yet I also know that we live in a safe universe. This is different from telling myself I shouldn't be afraid or that I don't have anything to fear.  Both of these things can be true.  I can acknowledge my fear, AND know that I am safe.  

You might tell yourself you have nothing to fear, and you would be correct.  Yet, fear is real.  Especially in our world right now.  It isn't that we shouldn't be afraid.  For me, it is about recognizing that sometimes I am afraid, and also I am safe.  When we acknowledge the fear, we can investigate the fear and notice what is creating the fear.  Maybe it is an old belief, pattern, or something else that you don't actually believe to be true anymore.  Maybe in saying hello to fear, you will move out of worry and choose to do something and act to change.

I know we are safe in my heart.  Not in my belly, and not in my worry and control.  On the soul level, everything that is happening is happening for our highest good.  And the more fear that we can heal by allowing ourselves to actually feel it (rather than pretend it isn't there or we aren't really afraid), the less worry, control and judgement will be present in our lives.  

Trust is the difference.  I acknowledge the fear, and then I feel into my heart. I find that knowing that says I am safe.  We are safe.  Tap into trust.  I choose trust in ourselves, our bodies, our communities, our universe.  We live in a safe universe and it is conspiring for us.  This life is happening for us, and we are alive at one of the most healing of times.  I believe in you.

October is a fascinating month to look at fear because it comes into plain site with all of the preparations for Halloween.  Death is celebrated a bit and we are confronted with scary things and scary characters.  What if you made it a conscious choice to look at your fear and truly honor it this Halloween?